SEX! SEX! SEX! There I said it, the dirty, shameful word has been said. Now that we have that preliminary awkwardness out of the way, let’s talk about hickeys. More specifically, why they’re trashy and why they’re actually maybe not so trashy.

Sometime between high school and entering my sophomore year of college, I have slowly felt my frontal lobe develop. Obviously, it’s not finished yet, but this process has cleared some things up for me. 

I have to admit, my initial reaction to seeing someone with hickeys is a tad judgemental. “But I’m not a judgy person so I don’t care what someone else is doing!” You’re full of it, respectfully. I’m calling bullcrap. We’re all judgy, we are biologically programmed to be judgemental to keep our fight-or-flight instincts intact. You would be correct in that I don’t care what someone else chooses to do with their body. It’s the rational thought process after the initial feeling that I come to this conclusion.

To me, displaying hickeys seems a tad immature, but at the same time, it’s your body and your relationship and you are free to do whatever you please! I would be lying if I said I haven’t walked around with my fair share of purplish marks. Whenever I find myself in this situation, I feel the need to cover them with layers of clothes, hair and enough makeup to keep Sephora in business. 

Some couples do this as a way of “marking their territory.” If you ask me, that seems pretty weird, but hey we don’t kink shame here. At the end of the day, we’re all adults who make our own choices. 

If you think about it, no one approaches a pregnant person in disgust and says “I know what you did!” Because for starters, that’s just wrong and secondly, it’s a natural and biological process. How are hickeys any different? The stigma surrounding hickeys is an interesting one. If anything, if you like to flaunt your hickeys, shout out to you! At least someone is getting some action!