There is such an incredible feeling that you get when you hit it off with a person you’ve never met before. The conversations are engaging, a piece of the puzzle is coming together and you felt like the commonalities between you were out of this world. However, one thing that we don’t take into consideration after meeting someone new is being introduced to their friend group. My friend group formed during my freshman year of college, after two of my friends and I met in a leadership class. After that, more and more individuals were introduced to the friend group. My friend group would always let people in with open arms as we were excited to have more people to hang out with. However, I can imagine why this scenario could be difficult for some individuals, as you really don’t know if the people in the friend group will necessarily like you. That can be stressful. Below, I’ve listed a couple tips to help you respectfully insert yourself in a friend group.
- Take time to get to know the individuals
When you join a friend group with people that you don’t necessarily know, make sure you take the time to get to know each person. Each person in the group might be vastly different from one another and it’s important to gauge who they are as a person. This also gives individuals the impression that you care about them and want to get to know them. First impressions in this scenario are incredibly important!
- You can talk, but make sure to listen
When having a conversation with an individual, you should be making sure to tune in to what they have to say. Sometimes this can be difficult, and I am guilty of doing more talking than listening, but this is nonetheless very important. Having a conversation requires the 50/50 rule. Each person gets to talk, but also has to listen an equal amount. Just remember that while someone does want to get to know you, they also want to share aspects of their lifestyle as well.
- Share your expectations and set boundaries
It is ALWAYS okay to share expectations and set boundaries with new individuals that you meet, especially if there is information that you want them to know ahead of time. Some examples of expectations that you could set would be mutual respect, open communication, honesty, etc. Sharing these expectations can be helpful because it helps an individual gauge what values are most important to you so they can follow through with them. Setting boundaries is also a good idea to do when meeting someone new, such as being upfront about your personal space, what topics you are comfortable discussing, emotional needs and being respectful of your time commitment.
- Respect! Respect!Respect!
Lastly, one important thing to note when joining a friend group is to be respectful. Don’t join the group and become a homewrecker by gossiping about the other individuals or spreading false information to the friend group. When a friend group is letting you in with open arms, you need to treat each person with respect. If there’s a questionable individual within the group that isn’t treating you right, respectfully bring it up with another group member. Problems in friend groups are much easier to resolve when there is respectful communication.
I hope these tips help you integrate smoothly into the friend group. The most important thing to remember is to be yourself and be kind. Things like this can be very tough and anxiety-inducing, but just remember that these people are also probably nervous to meet you. Step out of your comfort zone and talk to people you don’t know that well, sometimes you’d be surprised how long you can sit and talk to them for.
