I know some of you have read this title and thought to yourself, “that’s not very human. How can you hate a grilled cheese sandwich?” The answer to this is simple. It’s not that I hate a grilled cheese sandwich per se, but rather that I don’t like American cheese. 

This feeling started when I was in Kindergarten. I loved sitting next to my friends at lunch, but dear god. I could not handle the smell of that school lunch mac-and-cheese. The smell of burning plastic filled my nose and I thought I was going to throw up. Ever since then, I’ve never eaten ANYTHING made from American cheese, which meant that I lived my entire childhood without seeing a Velveeta cup. Growing up, I tried to branch out and eat things with American cheese, but it always ended up with me throwing up. Everytime I would visit a friend or relative’s house, they would make grilled cheese with American cheese slices. I would sit there and shake my head. Out of hundreds of cheese selections, why did we have to choose the most artificial one? I was the one who just ate bread with peanut butter and jelly on it instead. 

This leads me to my thoughts on a grilled cheese sandwich. I think that the idea of a grilled cheese itself is mouth watering. I love a sandwich with pepper jack or provolone cheese. However, I cannot imagine why people would put this specific cheese into their body. Even at 21 years old, I’m still staying away from anything with American cheese. Little me would be so proud. 

Honestly, what is it with this cheese? Is there a smell or taste that I’m not getting from it? According to tasteofhome.com, American cheese isn’t technically real cheese. The Food and Drug Administration classifies it as “pasteurized process cheese food,” which means it contains less than 51% real cheese.” So, why are we eating fake cheese? They couldn’t even make it smell or taste like real cheese to begin with.

Overall, American cheese will never be a favorite of mine. It’s just so gross and tastes like rotting plastic. If you like American cheese, it may be time to get your taste buds checked out, because I think they are broken. In my 21 years of life, I am totally okay with the fact that I will forever be a pepper jack and provolone girly.