Relationship hopping has become an issue. If that’s how you cope, then okay. Odds are it is not working out for you, though. Many people do not realize the importance of dating yourself before jumping into a relationship with another person. What are my credentials, you may ask. I lived it. And it worked.
Here are ways you can date yourself before dating someone else.
- Go on walks to connect with nature.
As someone who is not a huge fan of the outdoors, I find peace in taking a nice, long walk. No, just walking from your residence hall to class does not count. Allow yourself time to walk a couple of miles. Keep your AirPods in and listen to your favorite songs, or take the earbuds out and connect with the sounds around you. So much can happen when you take a break and remember you are one of a billion living beings on this planet.
- Sit alone in a coffee shop and read your favorite book.
No, no one cares that you are by yourself in a coffee shop. I guarantee you no one is paying attention. Find a seat in a coffee shop, get a nice cup of coffee or your preferred cafe beverage, take a deep breath and open the book you swore you would finish last semester. (I’m looking right at you, I know you put that book on your bookshelf and told yourself you’d finish it when your assignments weren’t drowning you).
- Find a new hobby.
I’m aware this is so much easier said than done. Be honest with yourself, doom-scrolling on Instagram or TikTok is doing nothing but feeding your mind with thoughts that are not benefiting you in the long run. Pick up a video game controller and discover video games that can exercise your critical thinking skills. Pick up a pen and begin writing until your hand is cramping with your thoughts becoming one with the art of the world. Find a paintbrush and begin to paint whatever comes to your mind. Find a healthy hobby to indulge in for your mind and soul. You never know – You may have developed a new passion.
- Buy yourself flowers.
Admittedly, I thought this was lame and perhaps “cheesy” until I did it. I went to Trader Joes a while back and bought a bouquet of flowers for $5.99 and it was the best $5.99 I ever spent. The flowers immediately brightened my apartment’s living room and provided a gentle reminder to take care of yourself – As you should a flower.
- Most importantly, be kind to yourself.
Seriously. This is not meant to be a pep talk to remind yourself that you are beautiful and amazing. Consider this – Would you seriously be as hypercritical of your partner as you are to yourself? Odds are you are not planning on it. Learning to develop patience, care and practicing self-love can make you feel more stable within yourself before you can provide more of yourself and your time to a whole other human being.
These strategies have helped me, and many others I know to be ready to encounter a possible relationship. Remember the saying: You cannot help others if you cannot help yourself first. Take care of yourself, learn yourself and date yourself before being open to dating others.
