In my 21 years of gracing the Earth with my presence, I have learned a lot. Some lessons were easy to learn, some lessons ended with me in tears. Either way, each one of these lessons were important as they shaped who I am today. These are lessons worth learning and are worth sharing with others. With that being said, here are 21 things I’ve learned in 21 years of life.
- Your best work > perfect work
If you’re anything like me, you struggle with perfectionism. I had to learn early on that perfectionism doesn’t exist, and instead, makes you go insane. The best that you can do will always conquer perfect work. Don’t let perfectionism burn you out by having you see flaws that aren’t there. Your best work will always make you proud, because at the end of the day, you can say “I did that” and be proud of that.
- Time is a valuable asset
Sometimes we forget how valuable time can be. For example, can you believe that COVID was five years ago? That right there showcases just how much time has passed. When given that time, don’t waste it. Call your mom again. Go bother that friend again. Don’t be afraid to showcase your style when walking to class or don’t be embarrassed to dance in public while getting your morning coffee. Time is precious, use this time to own your life.
- Actions are more powerful than words
We all make mistakes as we are only human. However, sometimes you cannot fix those mistakes with just words alone. “I’m sorry” can only be used so often before it starts to feel overused and therefore loses its meaning. Sometimes taking action can be enough to show that you are sorry and that you care.
- Everything happens for a reason
For the last three years, I’ve been operating under the assumption that everything happens for a reason. Let me tell you that when you start adopting this into your everyday life, you will feel so much more confident in life. I like to think, “If I haven’t died yet, then it wasn’t the end of the world.”
- No one owes you anything
An important life lesson to learn is that you must earn your own success and happiness. Take ownership of your life and don’t develop the expectation or sense of entitlement that others are obligated to provide you with what you want or need. Everything you earn in life is through your hard work, not others’ hard work.
- Consider all advice
Advice can be criticism. As someone who absolutely needs to get over herself and accept criticism, I’ve learned that it’s important to accept all advice that’s given to you. Just because someone says something you don’t want to hear, doesn’t mean that it’s not valid or important. If you want to build character and become a stronger person, take advice that is given to you. What you do with that advice is solely up to you.
- Money does not equal happiness
Let’s be real, I don’t have big stacks of cash in my bank account right now. Was I upset about that? Yes. Did I get over that? Yes. Money does not make you happier. Whether I had $3,000 in my bank account or just two dollars, I learned very quickly that money doesn’t equate to happiness. Some of the happiest memories I’ve had came from spending little to no money. Experiences will always be worth more than tangible objects, just remember that.
- It’s okay for friends to come and go
One thing that people don’t realize is that you will lose friends as you grow up. I wasn’t aware of this rule growing up. I always thought my friends and I would save up all our money to live in a castle together, not be on different sides of the state living our own lives. This is something that most adults don’t share, and I’m not sure why. It’s okay to lose friends and it’s okay to mourn friendships. People will come and go, and that’s something that we all have to get used to.
- It’s okay to ask for help
One of the hardest things to do in life is to ask for help. That is something completely understandable as we all want to prove that we can do things on our own. Sometimes, that’s not always the case. Never be ashamed to ask for help. If people are willing to lend you a helping hand, take it.
- Say yes to adventure
In my four years of college, I have learned that you have to say yes to adventure. My favorite memories from college so far are going stargazing at two in the morning and going on several slurpee runs at midnight. These adventures may seem ridiculous to you, but I’ve never felt so alive. The lives we live are short, so take this opportunity to go to McDonalds at three in the morning with your friends. These memories will stick with you for the rest of your life.
- You deserve a rest day
Being a full time college student while juggling jobs, organizations and friendships can be quite difficult. With that being said, it’s okay to take a rest day. It’s important that you schedule designated rest days so that your body can rest. It’s not being lazy, it’s giving your body room to breathe.
- Your body is your own
Don’t let anyone tell you what you can and cannot do with your body. Everyone should be able to feel comfortable in their own skin without people telling them what they should do with their body. You want to dye your hair? Do it. You want to gain some muscle? Go for it. Do whatever makes you happy and comfortable, not at the expense of others.
- Happiness is a choice
You can’t force yourself to be happy. Happiness is a choice. Now, I’m not saying you can’t be upset, but you need to understand when it’s time to get over it and change your mindset. Don’t dwell on things that are upsetting. Be happy. Do things that make you happy. Just like sadness is a choice, happiness is a choice.
- Treat yourself
Treat yourself, no matter what you’ve gone through today. Sometimes I always have to justify my purchases when I buy Chick Fil A or go thrifting with my friends. While it’s okay to want to save money, don’t forget that you are getting up every morning and taking the day by storm. You don’t need to justify getting Chick Fil A. Purchase it because you deserve it and need to eat. Give yourself these treats, you worked hard today.
- Do something difficult
Sometimes, we have to do hard things in order to gain strength. That is why it is important to step outside of your comfort zone. For example, I had a fear of public speaking. I decided to step outside of my comfort zone and talk to an audience during a conference. Now I am doing much better with public speaking.
- Never settle for less
Speaking from experience in previous relationships, never settle for less. If someone, whether that be a significant other or a friend, is not treating you correctly, separate yourself from them. You deserve to be around people that actually care about you and want to be a part of your life. If someone is only seen as a blockade in the road, do yourself a favor and let them go. Surround yourself with people who want what’s best for you
- Tomorrow is a new day
Was today just not the day for you? Don’t fear, tomorrow is always right around the corner. I always like to tell myself that if I had a very hard day, I just need to envision a better tomorrow with lots of new opportunities. Own your day, and if it wasn’t the day you had imagined, own the day tomorrow.
- Slip ups are not failures
We will all eventually slip up and make a major mistake. First of all, do not fret. Mistakes happen as we are all human. However, dwelling on the mistake and calling it a ‘failure’ will only make you feel worse about it. To avoid slipping between the cracks over a silly slip up, give yourself room to grow. Ask yourself what you can learn from this experience, resolve the issue and move on.
- Oversharing is not embarrassing
When you become very close with someone, you tend to overshare with them on a daily basis. As long as there is no boundary between you two about oversharing, I think that oversharing is actually okay. While we don’t tend to share the embarrassing moments that happen to us, oversharing can make two people closer. Sometimes a good friendship just needs a laugh here and there.
- It’s okay to say no
Say it with me. It’s okay to say no. One of the hardest life lessons that I had to learn was how to say no to people. Then I realized, why am I learning ‘how’ to say no when I obviously don’t want to do something at all. Don’t overthink anything. Just say the word “no.” You don’t owe anyone an explanation as to why.
- It’s okay to be 21
Lastly, it’s okay to be 21. A couple days before I turned 21, I was anxious to start this new chapter in my life. I know that you are an adult at 18, but higher expectations are placed on you once you turn 21. Honestly, being 21 doesn’t have a specific emotion attached to it. You are forever more stressed, more frustrated, more sad, but also more happy, more adventurous and more excited. Don’t let being an adult keep you from having fun and being happy. We will all be 21 at once, so we might as well enjoy it.
