There’s a common saying that “comparison is the thief of joy.” Which is true, but comparison is also the thief of pride.
I’m a junior this year at CNU, and like many upperclassmen (or students in general), I’ve been applying to internships. Now is the time when professors, family, administrators, peers and just about anyone is asking “what’s next for you this summer?”
If your answer isn’t some shiny-resume-boosting-epic internship, don’t feel ashamed. It’s not my answer either.
I will be the first to say that I am very fortunate for my opportunities and the ability to attend such an incredible institution like CNU. I have been incredibly privileged. I’ve also worked very hard.
I maintained a job the entirety of high school, working four jobs my senior year to save up for school all while playing a competitive sport.
In college, I have maintained having two-four jobs at a time on top of full course loads and organizations. Although my tuition is covered through military benefits, I have paid on my own for my room and board on top of my other bills. Again, that’s not to say I haven’t been very fortunate and if I truly needed to, I could call my parents for help.
I applied to several different internships and programs, but at the end of the day it all came down to money. I can’t accept the unpaid 40 hour work week, because I won’t be able to pay my rent this summer and pay for school. The opportunity cost is just way too high.
At first, I felt a little ashamed – as if I wasn’t smart enough or qualified enough. Or that somehow I was a failure because at 20 years old I haven’t conquered the world.
Listening to some of my peers boast about their internships or upcoming study abroad trips, I wanted to hide in a box or lie or teleport literally anywhere else in those moments. Then, I started hearing people with similar stories. I had been surrounded by people with different experiences. I assumed that’s how it was for everyone else. Everyone but me.
Then I talked with others who were also struggling to find internships or who were weighing the need to survive and pay bills versus taking the opportunity with experience. I realized I wasn’t alone.
We’re all dealt different cards in life and it’s what you do with those cards that matter. If you do have an internship or program opportunity lined up for this summer, that’s amazing and you should be incredibly proud of yourself.
If you don’t, that’s okay too. Be proud of where you are now.
